Bring Me To Life
by Sailor Piglet
Summary: A Bella/Edward songfic to Evanescence's Bring Me To Life. Just a little something I whipped up. Takes place in New Moon.


Bring Me To Life

AN and Disclaimer/ Hi all. So this is my take on a One-Shot to Evanescence's _Bring Me To Life_, which isn't mine. This may seem a little confusing, as I wrote it very different than what I'm used to. The lyrics are in italics. The bold are in Bella's perspective, the regular are Edward's, and the bold and underline is from both perspectives simultaneously. See the differentness. It's 1:30 am, so this may not make any sense. They're speaking to the other, so when Bella says 'you', she's referring to Edward and vice versa. I'm not sure how to explain the purple section, so if you have questions, I'll try to answer as clearly as possible. Each segment is a separate moment in New Moon, all property and characters and such belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, and while all of Bella's are in order, as are Edward's, they don't always match up. Just go with it please. Okay, so this is really long, so I'll just say that no copyright infringement is intended and please don't sue me 'cause you're not gonna get anything from a poor college student such as me. Enjoy!

Bring Me To Life

**_how can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core_**

You looked into my eyes as you said your goodbye. How could you remain so calm? How were you able to be so composed? Were you as numb as I? No. You meant every word. How silly of me to believe that you'd stay forever. At least, however long forever would be between you and I. How is it that you could look into my eyes? – you had to have meant every word. Every syllable. How else could you do what you had done? How else could you leave if you hadn't loved me as you had claimed.

_  
_**_where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home_**

I lay there, on the forest ground. I can't chase after you any longer. It wouldn't matter, even if I could. I wouldn't be able to catch up. I wouldn't want to see you if I could. But my world had gone. It left the second you did. You left, and took my soul with you. It's where I'd thought it once belonged. Or maybe it had died as you spoke each fatal syllable.

_(Wake me up)_

I've returned to my family, with the ones whom I belong. But I'm not me. You believed it all. You believed it so quickly. How is it that you could believe me? Surely I'm not that good of a liar. How could you have so little faith in our love?_  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

Who is this strange man talking to me? What is he saying? I don't know. I don't know anything. Charlie? What was that he said about Charlie? He needs me. I'm not sure why. Then again, I'm not sure of anything, so the simple matter of why shouldn't be of any importance._  
__(I can't wake up)_

I can't do anything. Everything feels like a chore. I feel so empty, so hollow. I barely notice the looks that my family give me. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters believed my lies so quickly. There was very little fight. I am nothing without her. None of them would understand, but they are willing to try. They trust my judgment, and I know that Jasper would have hated to stay around._  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

So many people have been to see me. So many people have called to see how I'm doing. Has it been 3 hours or 3 days? Or even 3 weeks? Maybe only 3 minutes. I don't know. Time holds no relevance anymore. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Not without you._  
__(Save me)_

I need you. I need you more than I should. You're not mine to need. You're not mine to hold. You're not mine. But my body and dead, cold, rock that you can call a heart won't listen to my head. They reach out for you without my permission. They need you._  
_**_call my name and save me from the dark_**

I collapsed on my floor. You had meant what you had said. It would be as if you were never here. Except, you're wrong. If you were never here, then I wouldn't be falling into the waters of despair that I'm currently being drowned in. Only one thing could possibly bring me out of this, and that thing will never return- You._  
__(Wake me up)_

If I couldn't hear there every thought then maybe this would be easier. I can't leave my room. I won't look at their faces when I already know what they're going to say. But I'm thirsty. Too thirsty. I need to go hunting. That will be unbearable. Maybe I'll go with Carlisle. His thoughts have been the easiest to deal with. That is, I'll go when I can gain **the courage to leave my room._  
__bid my blood to run_**

I may as well have died. I may as well kill myself. But I won't. Charlie needs me. So does Renee. They're what's keeping me alive. Surely my heart has stopped beating. How could it possibly beat when it's being demolished._  
__(I can't wake up)_

My hunting trip went as well as to be expected. However, it was longer than it should have been. I must hunt more, I should let myself get so thirsty. When I do, it means I have to hunt longer. Or maybe I should, I could use the "vacation" that I got from their voices. There's just one voice that I will ever want to hear. And I'll never hear that voice again. I'll never hear your voice again._  
_**_before I come undone_**

Renee is here. Why is she here? What? No! I'm NOT leaving! I can't leave. If I do, then this could all become a dream. I could forget how real he was. I can't forget! I just can't remember. Remembering hurts. Remembering is bad, but forgetting is worse._  
__(Save me)_

I need you. Even if so that I won't have to hear them telling me such a horrible idea this was. Just not quite so bluntly. Except for Rose. She's not afraid to tell me that this was a bad idea. She just can't decide which is worse, me behaving as I am, or letting myself get so close to you. No one blames Jasper, not even you, except for Jasper._  
_**_save me from the nothing I've become_**

Is it still September? Or is it October? I look at a calendar. It says December. December 20th. It can't possibly be. But then again, I couldn't tell you if it was 2 am or 2 pm. Not unless I looked out the window. And that's on a good day. A day when I can best pretend that I could possibly someday live without you. But I'll never be able to. I'm nothing without you.

**_now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me_**

I can't live without you. I know that. Especially now. But my memories are fading. On the bad days, when all I think about is you, that's when I realize that you're slowly leaving me. Why do you have to be so right about the sieve that is human memory?_  
**breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life**_

Only you can make me alive again. They say that I will eventually get over this, but I won't. How could I? You are my life. Without you I'm nothing. I can only be alive again with you by my side. But you'll never be there. Never again. Only a fool could believe that.

_(Wake me up)_

I've had enough of their voices. I'm leaving. I need to leave. I need to get away from them. I need to be where I don't have to constantly think about you. Besides, Laurent and Victoria are still out there. They know that you and I were so close. So in love. They wouldn't know the change. I need to keep an eye on them. I need to do something._  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

Christmas came and went. According to the calendar, at least. It says January 3rd. It's getting easier to not think about you. I didn't think about you over the last 2 days. But I say a silver car, and I knew that you would be in my thoughts. It's yet another bad day. My heart continues to tear. It continues to hurt. I'm curled up on my bed. I'm crying. At least, I think I am. My face is wet with salt, so I'm fairly certain that's tears. The room's shaking. It may just be me though._  
__(I can't wake up)_

I have yet to find her trail, but I'm not very good at tracking, so it will take me a while. If I could handle it, I would have brought Jasper with me. Alice wouldn't have allowed it though. No, I won't take Jasper from her. I won't make her hurt as I am. Then I would truly be a monster. That is, if I'm not already a monster from what I've done to you._  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

Is Angela trying to talk to me? She's looking at me and her lips are moving, so I'm guessing so. Maybe. She stopped. She's giving me a look. I nod, is that what she wants? It seems to be enough. Maybe not what she wanted, but she's not fighting it. No one fights for my actual attention anymore. There's nothing to give them the attention._  
__(Save me)_

I think I've found her trail, but it's very old. It may be her. I hope so. I shall follow it to be sure. I've found something at last. But this doesn't mean that I'm consciously following it. No. I've lost all consciousness, as far as that's concerned. I'm on autopilot._  
_**_call my name and save me from the dark_**

Another nightmare. That's what I get night after night. Sometimes many times a night. You, in my dreams. You there, like you used to. And then you leaving me. That's when I wake up screaming. Charlie's stopped checking up on me. He doesn't sleep through it, but he doesn't bother to check on me. He hates the tears that follow._  
__(Wake me up)_

I've lost the trail once again. I really wish I had Jasper. Or, at the very least, that I could be able to track decently. If I could, then I wouldn't have to focus on tracking. That may be my problem. I have no focus. How can I focus when I'm no longer with you._  
_**_bid my blood to run_**

I'm trapped in another nightmare. You're touching me, as always. It's like it was. I can feel the blush. But this enjoyment won't last long. The nightmare part will come soon enough and I'll be forced into reality. If only my dreams would get that straight, but they would rather hurt me than play nice._  
__(I can't wake up)_

I've found her trail. I know it this time. I'm sure it's her. Why is she so south though? So long as it's far from you I'm as okay as I can be. As long as she couldn't reach you easily, I can follow her at this pace. As long as you're in no real danger, I can live in this half life-half dream state. Just so long as she stays far from you._  
_**_before I come undone_**

I've woken from the nightmare. It's worse this time. I was happy for far too long. The gashes seem deeper and longer. How is it that I'm still alive? Right, Charlie and Renee. I'm alive because they need me. That's all. That's my reason for "living"._  
__(Save me)_

Her trail has gone further south. It's lead me through Texas and into Northern South America. At least, I believe this is her trail. I know better by now than to truly believe. I've learned, just maybe not the right lessons._  
_**_save me from the nothing I've become_**

Another day. I think lunch is next. Or maybe I was just there. All I know is that I'm at school. It's a good thing I've learned to drive in my state of numbness. The numb is what keeps me safe. It's what holds me together. I'll only allow the numbness to go away in my room. Only in the "safety" of my room can I possibly allow the pain to come over me.

**_Bring me to life_**

You've been in my thoughts all day. It's been a bad day. You were smiling. You were happy without me. Is that really what I want? I know that I can be happy with you, but can you be happy with someone else?_  
__(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)_

No. I don't want you to be happy without me. I need for me to be the only one to make you happy. But that would only allow the selfish monster in me to come to the surface. I can't. I have to control. I have to have "hope" that you could be happy without me._  
_**_Bring me to life_**

It's been a good day. I've gotten a few things accomplished. Let me rephrase. It was a good day, then I allowed my self to think of you. I allowed myself to hurt again. I've allowed myself to crawl into that dark tunnel.

**_frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead_**

Without you, I am dead. My life lives with the undead. With the immortal. My soul lies with you, and only you. So here I live, soulless._  
__  
__all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

I can't do this. I can't live day to day like this. I have to go see her. If just to check up on her. 2 weeks. I'll leave in 2 weeks. Maybe by then I can talk myself out of it. No. I'll just find more reasons to go back. 2 weeks. Just 2 more weeks._  
_**_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything_**

Here I stand, on the edge of this cliff. I want to here you again. Just once more. I need to hear you again. I need you. I think I'm falling. Yes, I'm falling. AH! The water's much too cold. And strong. The storm. It must be causing this. The current. It's much too strong. I can't find my way out. So I gave up. At least I got to hear your voice. With that I can die in peace._  
__without a thought without a voice without a soul_

Rosalie just called. She says you're dead. She says you jumped off a cliff and killed yourself. She says that you no longer live. If you no longer live, then why should I? I'm sorry family, but I can't live without my Bella._  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more_

I'm on my way to Italy. Alice will see. She'll try to stop me, but she knows she won't be able to. Nothing can stop me. It doesn't matter what she says. My Beautiful, you are gone. How can I live without you. How can they expect me to?_  
_**_bring me to life_**

What's going on? Have I died? Funny, this isn't how I imagined death would be. I know that you won't be with me, but certainly death would be painless.

_(Wake me up)_

Just one more plane until I reach Italy. Just one more and a short trip._  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

Jake says that he pulled me out. How? How could he have gotten me out of there? He saved me though. So I'm not dead. Now I just have to deal with an angry Charlie._  
__(I can't wake up)_

I've reached Italy, my love. I'm very nearly there. I'm running now. I don't have the patience to find a car. Running feels better than driving anyway._  
_**_Wake me up inside_**

She's back! Alice is back! I know that it's not for long. She's mad at me for the cliff diving, but I'm just so happy to see her. The pain will come once she leaves, but I can deal with that. I can deal with that when the time comes._  
__(Save me)_

I have just reached the gates of Volterra. I'll call your house, just to make sure that Rose had gotten it right. I talk to some strange boy. Funeral. He just said funeral. Yes, Rose was right. I shall make my stop to see the Volturi now. I shall join you in death, my love._  
_**_call my name and save me from the dark_**

Carlisle just called, according to Jacob. But we were wrong, or so we found out when Alice came to the foot of the stairs. You. You were going to kill yourself because you thought I was dead._  
__(Wake me up)_

I have asked them to kill me. They have decided to deliberate on that, but I think I know what the answer will be. They like my gift too much to kill me. They'd rather give me the option to join them. But I won't. Not without you._  
_**_bid my blood to run_**

We were in a hurry. In order to possibly maybe save your life, we have to hurry. I hated saying good-bye to Jake the way I did, but you are much more important to me. I need you to live so that I can live. I also need for planes to go faster. They take far too long._  
__(I can't wake up)_

They have just informed me that they will not kill me. And so it's on to Plan B. I must force their hand. I must force them to kill me. Now, how to best do it? Just a little while longer, and I shall be dead, as you are, my love._  
_**_before I come undone_**

We've reached Italy and are now in the midst of the long drive. We're nearly there. You're still alive. We haven't lost yet. We haven't lost you yet. Very nearly there._  
__(Save me)_

Of all the options, I opted for the one with the less physical damage. I shall simply walk into the sun, in all my sparkling glory. That should be enough to get their attention. Especially on such an ironic day._  
_**_save me from the nothing I've become_**

I'm running. I'm running just as Alice asked me to. It's slow going, there are too many people. I can't see you, but I can see the clock tower, the Palazzo dei Priori. I just needed to run towards that. I'm screaming your name. At least, if I don't get to you in time, I can hope that they shall kill me as well. Just so long as Alice gets out and is safe I don't care what happens. As long as we're together, and as long as Alice and Jasper can remain together._  
__  
_**_(Bring me to life)_**

I'm reaching out to you. I can almost see you. I can almost hear you. Here you are. Standing right in front of me. My love. Oh how I love you._  
_**_I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside_**

Here my angel stands in front of me. She's real. YOU're real. You're here in front of me. You say that you are alive. That WE'RE alive. You continue to repeat it. I'll believe you. For if I were dead, you wouldn't be this upset. If we were dead, you wouldn't act like this. So Rose was wrong. I'll let her make up for it._  
_**_(Bring me to life)_**

Here you stand in front of me. It's been so long. I get to hold you. You're real. You are alive. As am I. We are together again. We shall always remain together, because only death can tear us apart anymore. I love you.

AN/ Wow, so that's my story. Yep. I just sat down and wrote that. While I listened to the song with New Moon on my desk next to me simply for reference. I hope everyone likes this different direction I took with it – for me at least. Please review. It sounds lame, but I like reviews. If there's anything that needs to be fixed, let me know. This is the rough draft and I refuse to go back and reread it.


End file.
